Dec. 24, 2025
Episode 328 - What This Year Taught Me About Leading Myself First
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In this reflective episode of the Wealth Academy Podcast, Paul Lawrence Vann explores the powerful lessons this year revealed about leading yourself first. Drawing from lived experience and leadership insight, Paul shares how self-awareness, discipline, boundaries, and mindset shape authentic leadership. This episode is a reminder that true leadership begins internally—and when you master yourself, you multiply your impact everywhere else.
Key Themes:
- Self-leadership as the foundation of influence
- Discipline, habits, and boundaries
- Growth through reflection and resilience
- Leading with clarity in every season
Listen, reflect, and apply these lessons as you prepare for your next level of leadership.
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/wealth-academy-podcast-wealth-is-more-than-just-money/donations
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[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Wealth the Academy podcast.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for tuning in to listen to this dynamic and insightful podcast with host Paul Lawrence Van.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Paul and his guests provide content rich information that will enhance your knowledge.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Enjoy this episode.
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[SPEAKER_00]: good day everyone.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host Paul Lawrence Van Pulse of wealth Academy podcast where wealth is more than just money and it certainly is because in life what we have is
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[SPEAKER_00]: our health, our mind, our bodies, our spirit, relationships, and much, much more.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And if we put all the weight of our wealth based on just financial and monetary part, we'll be missing out on that whole person concept.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm the host Paul Lawrence Van.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's been my honor to really provide you with the best of the best.
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[SPEAKER_00]: podcast episode content expertise knowledge skills and abilities throughout this year.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So this particular episode number 327 is title what this year taught me about leading myself first, and I also want to preface you to think about this for yourself as well.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Again, what this year taught me about leading myself first,
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[SPEAKER_00]: This year didn't teach me how to read others better.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It taught me how to lead myself first.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that distinction changes everything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: In a year field with pressure, pivots, and personal tests, I learned that leadership doesn't start with a title.
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[SPEAKER_00]: promotion or recognition, the start of how you show up for yourself every single day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so we are our own leaders.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's where self leadership comes in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to title for that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Promotions are anything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Today I'm sharing the lessons this year talking about self leadership, the lessons that strengthen my clarity.
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[SPEAKER_00]: my discipline and my ability to leave with purpose, no matter of the season and what a year 2025 continues to be.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's get started here and I'm going to again, welcome everyone, all the subscribers, listeners, family, friends, colleagues, peers, and much, much more and different cohorts because I've been in a lot of training this year in addition to serving clients.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So question number one is this and I want you to think about this how it pertains to you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What moments this year force me to slow down and reflect instead of reacting?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now those moments remind me that thoughtful leadership always outperforms emotional leadership.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So what this tells us is this and what it told me was this that
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have to approach life, and I'm approaching life from an inter-internal perspective.
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[SPEAKER_00]: In other words, I can control my thoughts, my mind, my habits, my mindset, and so can you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: no one can control our inner self, our emotions and the decisions we make and how we think about life and about ourselves and about others.
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[SPEAKER_00]: External factors of things such as the external worlds, things such as the country you live in, who leads that country, the different policies that are out there, those are the things that we have no
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[SPEAKER_00]: And yet we still persist, and we persist primarily because the things that we can control, it puts us in a much stronger position.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So one thing I want you to think about is this, is that exactly what are your thoughts?
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[SPEAKER_00]: How do you think?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because whatever they are,
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[SPEAKER_00]: it really bears down on the decisions that you make.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the better decisions that we make, the better results we receive in life, and that helps us to live our best life possible.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not a cliche either because I also want you to take into consideration that you are in control of your own happiness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're sad, it's because you want to be.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because no one externally can control your happiness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When you look in that mirror, that's who is responsible for your happiness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You are, and I am.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so, when we look at the moments this year to force you to slow down and reflect, instead of reacting, I look at where did I want my personal life to be this year, and I wanted to really have a very
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[SPEAKER_00]: productive and a very positive year.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm having that and it's not that I'm going to have that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm having it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I've had it since January of January 1, 2025.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And as a result, with each quarter that passed away from January to March, from April to May, June, all of those things I really looked at them,
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I asked myself, and my still are the path, the best path for myself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when I was not on it, I got back on that path.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I negotiated the challenges life was presented to me at that time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what many of us do when we look at that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think I want to look at some moments I look at what I decided to get involved with a training earlier this year.
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[SPEAKER_00]: that particular training really adjusted my particular business and I came in and delivered a an amazing program and it was again on self leadership.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I graduated from that program and then I rolled into a program that until coming up with a marketing funnel.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's ongoing where I
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm also working on a Facebook program where I can make offers from a website, be on my list, and do a much, much more, and a couple of the different speakers' bureaus that I belong to here at years end because everything.
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[SPEAKER_00]: is get me ready for 2026 and I'm ready for it and I have the systems in place to do just that and I hope that you do too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So question one was and I repeat it just so you get this in your notes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What moments this year forced me to slow down and reflect instead of reacting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I did run into a period of overwhelmed while I was physically just drained and tired.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Primarily because I did lose one of my younger brothers this year and that put a lot of weight on me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then recently I lost a friend of high school class to make that a play football with it was on a track team with.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So those things in life that came is because you care and you love the people that it in your life and that's why.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So question two, where did I have to recommit
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[SPEAKER_00]: of relying on motivation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I read it again because I flopbed it the first time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Where did I have to recommit to discipline instead of rely on motivation?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, discipline.
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[SPEAKER_00]: moves you forward.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Motivation is in the moment.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And there's a distinction and a difference between that too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I had to recommit a lost a little bit of steam when my brother passed away because it was really a taxi to have lost him in the way that he was lost, which I can't share here, but there were a lot of things that were happening that should not have happened to him.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it impacted me immensely since I'm the second oldest child and the oldest brother and so that that had a weight on me and it of course shifted things around for me because I had to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: physically leave Maryland and go to North Carolina.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I had a lot of things working.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, I have two children, one graduation high school this year.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Another one was scheduled to graduate here at the years in the 2025, but she has to complete an internship next spring in she'll graduate.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So for all intensive purposes, she has one class left.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so that impacts me too, because now days with colleges
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[SPEAKER_00]: Lisa situation happened at Brown University and also out in Australia, I visited it for two weeks.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These things, they can shift things for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I had to lock in on my discipline.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have a lot of discipline.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have more discipline and faith than I have anything else.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But more than that, I have that self-belief.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I didn't rely on motivation that much because I know.
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[SPEAKER_00]: bad motivation is needed at life but discipline is needed as well because when you run into your greatest challenges discipline is what's going to win the day for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So next question and I'll repeat that one again where did I have to recommit to discipline instead of relying on motivation and this question is posed to you because I want you to answer it for yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And how did my daily habits either support a sabotage my leadership growth?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, this all takes into account my results become a mirror of the habits I practice consistently, not occasionally.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm a pretty locked in person primarily because I had to be very disciplined in a military for 22 years.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And as a result, I just care at those particular habits.
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[SPEAKER_00]: David Habits into my life, like getting enough rest because when you're doing great things, it takes a lot of energy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So physical conditioning, mentally, conditioning, spiritual development, all of that all adds up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I locked into these.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So really, I want to get down to, as I mentioned, my results became a mirror of the habits.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I practiced consistently and not
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[SPEAKER_00]: If I find myself leaning into too many other shiny objects, I ensure that I don't invest in those and that I stay with one program, one program at a time, take action on it and if.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If it looks like I need the new shiny object, then I would lock into that, but for right now, I won't need any shiny objects for a long time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I just keep the daily habits going and remaining positive standing away from people with a lot of drama and just moving forward because you can run into drama almost anywhere.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It can happen in your family, it can happen in your community, it can happen in nationally and internationally.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I just want to find myself where I'm staying on course, try to realize the vision that I have in the greater good for the legacy that I want to leave.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So again, question three was, and I want you to address this for yourself, how that my daily habits, either support our sabotage, my leadership role.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And before I end that one in terms of sabotage,
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[SPEAKER_00]: There's no sabotage unless I allow it to happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I have not allowed that to happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I might be in a program I get a little bit behind.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So at that point, I stop everything else I'm doing and I go back and start all over until I get caught back up and then I can move forward and that's actually happening right now in a class that training that I've been in for the last six weeks.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that was question three.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So what question four is what boundaries did I have
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[SPEAKER_00]: to protect my energy and focus.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So when it comes to strong self leadership, it's required, it's required, and saying no without you, and yes, with intention.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So there are some things that you just turn them down because they're not going to accelerate or enhance what you're doing, whether someone trying to sell you a training, whether they have a collaboration, whether you're writing a book, whatever it may happen to be, are speaking engagement.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so you just have to find yourself not being afraid to say no because you know what the greater good is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the know is not a purposeful know or bad know.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's just a know I can't do this at this time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm working on this and I want to move forward and move out on it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's when I'm taking that action step.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of it could very well come down
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[SPEAKER_00]: timing maybe a good word to, but they are in terms of boundaries.
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[SPEAKER_00]: to protect the energy and focus.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that is, people who want you to turn an event and yet you really don't want to turn it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to turn it because if you go into a certain city, you may encounter a few problems and I'll pass to give a hard note on that one and pass as well.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So again, question four was, what boundaries did I have to strengthen to protect my energy and focus?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to preface this towards you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, question five, how did my relationship with failure evolve this year?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, this is a great question.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, failure, of course, it becomes a teacher and not a verdict.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And once I choose growth over self-judgment, so what this is through question is really sand not only for me, but to you is when you look at the fact that you have a
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[SPEAKER_00]: relationship with failure, it's often a lesson more than a failure and understand that failure is not final.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I made a hard, hard pause because I really want you to get this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Some people think of their tip, something one time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say if you have a promotion going on and you put out
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[SPEAKER_00]: a marketing piece for one or two times and you don't get a response.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, what that tells you just need to tweak something.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You need to take another approach to it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You need to get to the right audience, your ideal or target audience.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And but keep going forward because there are always lessons that we can all learn as long as we don't give up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And in one of two times as an enough, I was in a training last week, and what the individual said was an individual delivered a webinar once a week.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So 52 weeks out of the year, she continues to give the same webinar over again, and that's what you're supposed to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and has she given up after just one quarter or four weeks in the first month, she never would have realized and ultimately she made $2,300.
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[SPEAKER_00]: but has she given up that never would have happened.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So she would make some tweaks to her presentation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She would strengthen those provider client relationships.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And she made herself available.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And she really committed to what she was doing and her clients knew it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And as a result, she's achieving success.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So she's doing maybe,
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[SPEAKER_00]: 30,000 dollars a month in her coaching programs.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so it all comes down to the effort that you put in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's very important.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And failure, again, as a state comes a teacher is not a verdict and then once you choose growth over self judgment, meaning the example I gave with the lady entrepreneur, she just did not give up 52 weeks, just once a week, once a month, every week.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and every 12 months, the 412 months, and she came out on the other side of it, looking great, looking great.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So again, that's question five, how did my relationship with failure evolve this year?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Question six, where did I learn to trust my inner voice more than external validation?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's really goes back to what I was saying earlier that we have more power than we would ever know
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[SPEAKER_00]: we have a brain that cannot be altered by anyone externally.
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[SPEAKER_00]: In other words, no one can come into your brain and my brain and tell us what to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We control that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Exturdally, a person may not offer a program or they may not offer in the tiny, but when it comes down to
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[SPEAKER_00]: You they can't impact you army based on what they think we should do things should be based on what we do Especially if we're the body and investment towards a training or a program that we're in So again question six is where did I learn to trust my inner voice more than external validation?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to be validated by anyone.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the expert
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, leading myself first meant valuing alignment over approval.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So if I feel that everything is aligned under my vision, under the mission I have and the results I'm trying to work it on to achieve, then I'm in good spot.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because no one else can decide it for you, just like no one else can write your business plan for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: are the fuel sales projection, you have to come up with that primarily because it's your responsibility.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so as a result, when it comes down to external voices, it really means
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[SPEAKER_00]: valuing alignment over approval is very important to remember this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to move on to question seven the next to last question and we'll go on and I hope you're taking some notes and I recommend this to your family, friends, colleagues, peers and people that you know because this can really help them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This this is really great episode and these questions can really
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so question seven is this, how did my mindset shift during moments of uncertainty or transition?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the things I want to let you know is that I learned that uncertainty doesn't weaken leadership, it refines it in other words, there are some things that we experienced for example me as an entrepreneur, but it can apply to an employee as well things that you may never have done before and so things that you may have never done before is going to provide a little bit of struggle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But we are adults and we know through experience and training and actual vision.
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[SPEAKER_00]: that we can accomplish anything that we want to and the key is to take the action step and keep moving forward.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I have to have my mind set shifted to positivity to the open mindness, to open thoughts and be willing to listen, but also not only listen but to learn and have to learn apply because again, if you learn everything but you never apply it,
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was waste of time and we don't want that to happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so that's question seven, held it in my mind that shift during moments of uncertainty, our transition.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I mentioned it a little bit earlier where I lost my brother early this year, my younger brother.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And he had chronic illnesses.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that shift it my thinking and thoughts because when you lose a love word, I'm one of 10 children five boys, five girls.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I've lost two brothers already, so they're only two brothers.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've lost two brothers.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have two brothers left included and then myself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then I have four of my sisters.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So out of the five boys and five girls.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So it was uncertainty.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was having a few health challenges.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I had a health challenge immediately after my brother did.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and I was able to overcome it through persistence.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And many of us encounter that, and it's just simply a part of a life.
21:04.025 --> 21:09.531
[SPEAKER_00]: So questions seven, how did your mindset shift during moments of uncertainty a transition?
21:10.192 --> 21:11.894
[SPEAKER_00]: That question is for you as well.
21:12.935 --> 21:20.644
[SPEAKER_00]: And then finally, question eight, what version of myself emerged by the end of this year, by the end of 2025?
21:21.063 --> 21:26.491
[SPEAKER_00]: The elite I became was shaked more by self-awareness than by circumstances in other words.
21:27.152 --> 21:28.734
[SPEAKER_00]: I continued to learn.
21:29.135 --> 21:36.025
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes in life you think you've kind of know yourself and you know a lot of things in the world but you can still learn something.
21:36.065 --> 21:47.442
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the position I was in this year that I had been a speaker for several, several years and Arthur as well, but I continued to learn new things because I was in a
21:47.624 --> 22:03.777
[SPEAKER_00]: A writers group and then a joint another writers group and then I was in a couple of speakers beer rolls get to speak in engagements and podcasting and designing digital courses and I believe that it made me a better person.
22:03.993 --> 22:19.977
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I didn't look at some of the things I didn't know as a weakness I looked at it as going through it as an enhancement and I was not afraid to do it and as a result I took on some really great challenges this year, but I've come out on the other end.
22:20.345 --> 22:29.213
[SPEAKER_00]: a lot better than I would have not engaged in and embrace some of the training and programs that I was in.
22:29.633 --> 22:34.437
[SPEAKER_00]: So again, question eight, what version of myself emerged by the end of this year?
22:35.258 --> 22:37.300
[SPEAKER_00]: So this is going to conclude this episode.
22:37.420 --> 22:41.023
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to close by saying that this year didn't demand perfection.
22:41.463 --> 22:42.884
[SPEAKER_00]: It demanded presence.
22:43.485 --> 22:49.390
[SPEAKER_00]: And it definitely did it for me.
22:49.707 --> 23:07.647
[SPEAKER_00]: and daily commitment, and what I know now is this, when you lead yourself well, everything else, your leadership, your influence, your impact, naturally rises, and I want to make a greater impact on the communities I serve, and I have served over the years.
23:08.207 --> 23:15.175
[SPEAKER_00]: So no matter what season you're in, self-leadership is the foundation that carries you forward as a part of the,
23:15.526 --> 23:19.372
[SPEAKER_00]: of wealth academy podcasts and wealth being more than just money.
23:19.732 --> 23:21.755
[SPEAKER_00]: So my call to action to you is this.
23:22.636 --> 23:27.183
[SPEAKER_00]: As you reflect on this year, I challenge you to ask yourself one powerful question.
23:28.285 --> 23:31.890
[SPEAKER_00]: How can I lead myself better starting today?
23:32.911 --> 23:36.396
[SPEAKER_00]: Not yesterday and not tomorrow, but today.
23:37.578 --> 23:43.727
[SPEAKER_00]: If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who ready to grow from the inside out.
23:43.876 --> 23:46.061
[SPEAKER_00]: because that's where our power resides.
23:46.803 --> 23:56.687
[SPEAKER_00]: So subscribe to the welfare category podcast, go to Apple Podcast, leave a review, preferably a five-star review, and continue your journey towards clarity.
23:57.005 --> 23:59.229
[SPEAKER_00]: Confidence and purposeful leadership.
23:59.810 --> 24:04.339
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, lead yourself first and everything else will follow.
24:04.840 --> 24:07.125
[SPEAKER_00]: And my time is up and I thank you for yours.
24:07.385 --> 24:11.633
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've really enjoyed this series that I've been on for the last 90 days.
24:12.154 --> 24:19.789
[SPEAKER_00]: And I hope that is making a difference for you and happy holidays to you and Merry Christmas and however,
24:19.769 --> 24:30.887
[SPEAKER_00]: Happy Hardicoat, however you serve and you celebrate the holiday season and I want to wish everyone a happy new year.
24:31.348 --> 24:41.384
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, my name is Paul Lons Van, my time is up and I thank you for yours and I'll see you on the next episode of Wealth Academy Podcast.
24:41.704 --> 24:42.165
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much.
24:53.536 --> 24:57.343
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for listening to this episode with Paul and his guest.
24:57.363 --> 25:06.580
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope you enjoyed this episode and Paul requests that you rate and review this episode and others on Apple Podcasts and wherever you listen to podcasts.
25:07.121 --> 25:15.156
[SPEAKER_01]: View all wealth Academy podcast episodes at www.wealthacademypodcast.com
00:01.837 --> 00:04.923
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Wealth the Academy podcast.
00:04.943 --> 00:10.773
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks for tuning in to listen to this dynamic and insightful podcast with host Paul Lawrence Van.
00:11.274 --> 00:16.805
[SPEAKER_01]: Paul and his guests provide content rich information that will enhance your knowledge.
00:16.825 --> 00:18.107
[SPEAKER_01]: Enjoy this episode.
00:28.432 --> 00:29.295
[SPEAKER_00]: good day everyone.
00:29.335 --> 00:41.496
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host Paul Lawrence Van Pulse of wealth Academy podcast where wealth is more than just money and it certainly is because in life what we have is
00:42.269 --> 00:46.954
[SPEAKER_00]: our health, our mind, our bodies, our spirit, relationships, and much, much more.
00:47.335 --> 00:57.186
[SPEAKER_00]: And if we put all the weight of our wealth based on just financial and monetary part, we'll be missing out on that whole person concept.
00:57.687 --> 00:59.368
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, I'm the host Paul Lawrence Van.
00:59.428 --> 01:04.294
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been my honor to really provide you with the best of the best.
01:04.274 --> 01:11.302
[SPEAKER_00]: podcast episode content expertise knowledge skills and abilities throughout this year.
01:11.902 --> 01:25.778
[SPEAKER_00]: So this particular episode number 327 is title what this year taught me about leading myself first, and I also want to preface you to think about this for yourself as well.
01:26.198 --> 01:30.383
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, what this year taught me about leading myself first,
01:31.207 --> 01:33.833
[SPEAKER_00]: This year didn't teach me how to read others better.
01:34.154 --> 01:36.379
[SPEAKER_00]: It taught me how to lead myself first.
01:37.021 --> 01:39.065
[SPEAKER_00]: And that distinction changes everything.
01:39.607 --> 01:46.262
[SPEAKER_00]: In a year field with pressure, pivots, and personal tests, I learned that leadership doesn't start with a title.
01:46.951 --> 01:52.720
[SPEAKER_00]: promotion or recognition, the start of how you show up for yourself every single day.
01:53.080 --> 01:55.163
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we are our own leaders.
01:55.263 --> 01:57.226
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's where self leadership comes in.
01:57.587 --> 01:58.909
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to title for that.
01:59.029 --> 02:00.411
[SPEAKER_00]: Promotions are anything.
02:01.132 --> 02:07.221
[SPEAKER_00]: Today I'm sharing the lessons this year talking about self leadership, the lessons that strengthen my clarity.
02:07.505 --> 02:15.778
[SPEAKER_00]: my discipline and my ability to leave with purpose, no matter of the season and what a year 2025 continues to be.
02:16.218 --> 02:33.445
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's get started here and I'm going to again, welcome everyone, all the subscribers, listeners, family, friends, colleagues, peers, and much, much more and different cohorts because I've been in a lot of training this year in addition to serving clients.
02:33.425 --> 02:37.850
[SPEAKER_00]: So question number one is this and I want you to think about this how it pertains to you.
02:38.571 --> 02:44.258
[SPEAKER_00]: What moments this year force me to slow down and reflect instead of reacting?
02:45.380 --> 02:51.768
[SPEAKER_00]: Now those moments remind me that thoughtful leadership always outperforms emotional leadership.
02:52.228 --> 02:57.795
[SPEAKER_00]: So what this tells us is this and what it told me was this that
02:58.163 --> 03:03.632
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to approach life, and I'm approaching life from an inter-internal perspective.
03:03.732 --> 03:14.991
[SPEAKER_00]: In other words, I can control my thoughts, my mind, my habits, my mindset, and so can you.
03:15.123 --> 03:26.354
[SPEAKER_00]: no one can control our inner self, our emotions and the decisions we make and how we think about life and about ourselves and about others.
03:27.215 --> 03:45.113
[SPEAKER_00]: External factors of things such as the external worlds, things such as the country you live in, who leads that country, the different policies that are out there, those are the things that we have no
03:45.498 --> 03:56.636
[SPEAKER_00]: And yet we still persist, and we persist primarily because the things that we can control, it puts us in a much stronger position.
03:56.716 --> 04:03.607
[SPEAKER_00]: So one thing I want you to think about is this, is that exactly what are your thoughts?
04:04.269 --> 04:05.010
[SPEAKER_00]: How do you think?
04:05.290 --> 04:07.033
[SPEAKER_00]: Because whatever they are,
04:07.013 --> 04:10.177
[SPEAKER_00]: it really bears down on the decisions that you make.
04:10.577 --> 04:18.166
[SPEAKER_00]: And the better decisions that we make, the better results we receive in life, and that helps us to live our best life possible.
04:18.627 --> 04:27.177
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's not a cliche either because I also want you to take into consideration that you are in control of your own happiness.
04:27.237 --> 04:30.321
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're sad, it's because you want to be.
04:30.301 --> 04:34.226
[SPEAKER_00]: because no one externally can control your happiness.
04:34.727 --> 04:39.052
[SPEAKER_00]: When you look in that mirror, that's who is responsible for your happiness.
04:39.232 --> 04:40.434
[SPEAKER_00]: You are, and I am.
04:41.155 --> 04:55.954
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, when we look at the moments this year to force you to slow down and reflect, instead of reacting, I look at where did I want my personal life to be this year, and I wanted to really have a very
04:55.934 --> 04:58.457
[SPEAKER_00]: productive and a very positive year.
04:58.537 --> 05:01.381
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm having that and it's not that I'm going to have that.
05:01.401 --> 05:02.102
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm having it.
05:02.802 --> 05:07.128
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've had it since January of January 1, 2025.
05:07.809 --> 05:22.887
[SPEAKER_00]: And as a result, with each quarter that passed away from January to March, from April to May, June, all of those things I really looked at them,
05:23.339 --> 05:28.345
[SPEAKER_00]: And I asked myself, and my still are the path, the best path for myself.
05:28.886 --> 05:32.010
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I was not on it, I got back on that path.
05:32.110 --> 05:35.915
[SPEAKER_00]: And I negotiated the challenges life was presented to me at that time.
05:36.436 --> 05:38.799
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what many of us do when we look at that.
05:39.620 --> 05:51.135
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think I want to look at some moments I look at what I decided to get involved with a training earlier this year.
05:51.115 --> 06:05.454
[SPEAKER_00]: that particular training really adjusted my particular business and I came in and delivered a an amazing program and it was again on self leadership.
06:05.895 --> 06:14.727
[SPEAKER_00]: So I graduated from that program and then I rolled into a program that until coming up with a marketing funnel.
06:15.107 --> 06:18.692
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's ongoing where I
06:18.672 --> 06:33.255
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm also working on a Facebook program where I can make offers from a website, be on my list, and do a much, much more, and a couple of the different speakers' bureaus that I belong to here at years end because everything.
06:33.775 --> 06:42.293
[SPEAKER_00]: is get me ready for 2026 and I'm ready for it and I have the systems in place to do just that and I hope that you do too.
06:42.313 --> 06:46.763
[SPEAKER_00]: So question one was and I repeat it just so you get this in your notes.
06:47.966 --> 06:52.375
[SPEAKER_00]: What moments this year forced me to slow down and reflect instead of reacting.
06:53.350 --> 06:58.796
[SPEAKER_00]: And I did run into a period of overwhelmed while I was physically just drained and tired.
06:58.956 --> 07:05.023
[SPEAKER_00]: Primarily because I did lose one of my younger brothers this year and that put a lot of weight on me.
07:05.043 --> 07:11.150
[SPEAKER_00]: And then recently I lost a friend of high school class to make that a play football with it was on a track team with.
07:11.170 --> 07:17.998
[SPEAKER_00]: So those things in life that came is because you care and you love the people that it in your life and that's why.
07:18.038 --> 07:22.243
[SPEAKER_00]: So question two, where did I have to recommit
07:23.219 --> 07:25.162
[SPEAKER_00]: of relying on motivation.
07:26.104 --> 07:31.833
[SPEAKER_00]: I read it again because I flopbed it the first time.
07:31.853 --> 07:36.240
[SPEAKER_00]: Where did I have to recommit to discipline instead of rely on motivation?
07:36.841 --> 07:39.405
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, discipline.
07:39.622 --> 07:40.623
[SPEAKER_00]: moves you forward.
07:41.144 --> 07:43.126
[SPEAKER_00]: Motivation is in the moment.
07:43.647 --> 07:46.230
[SPEAKER_00]: And there's a distinction and a difference between that too.
07:46.370 --> 08:04.313
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I had to recommit a lost a little bit of steam when my brother passed away because it was really a taxi to have lost him in the way that he was lost, which I can't share here, but there were a lot of things that were happening that should not have happened to him.
08:04.765 --> 08:17.340
[SPEAKER_00]: And it impacted me immensely since I'm the second oldest child and the oldest brother and so that that had a weight on me and it of course shifted things around for me because I had to.
08:17.607 --> 08:20.071
[SPEAKER_00]: physically leave Maryland and go to North Carolina.
08:20.111 --> 08:22.354
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I had a lot of things working.
08:22.414 --> 08:26.380
[SPEAKER_00]: And of course, I have two children, one graduation high school this year.
08:26.400 --> 08:35.853
[SPEAKER_00]: Another one was scheduled to graduate here at the years in the 2025, but she has to complete an internship next spring in she'll graduate.
08:35.873 --> 08:39.399
[SPEAKER_00]: So for all intensive purposes, she has one class left.
08:40.360 --> 08:46.669
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that impacts me too, because now days with colleges
08:46.649 --> 08:54.076
[SPEAKER_00]: Lisa situation happened at Brown University and also out in Australia, I visited it for two weeks.
08:54.977 --> 08:57.500
[SPEAKER_00]: These things, they can shift things for you.
08:57.540 --> 08:59.942
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had to lock in on my discipline.
09:00.022 --> 09:01.323
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a lot of discipline.
09:01.343 --> 09:05.087
[SPEAKER_00]: I have more discipline and faith than I have anything else.
09:05.127 --> 09:07.530
[SPEAKER_00]: But more than that, I have that self-belief.
09:08.390 --> 09:13.095
[SPEAKER_00]: So I didn't rely on motivation that much because I know.
09:13.463 --> 09:23.076
[SPEAKER_00]: bad motivation is needed at life but discipline is needed as well because when you run into your greatest challenges discipline is what's going to win the day for you.
09:24.017 --> 09:39.538
[SPEAKER_00]: So next question and I'll repeat that one again where did I have to recommit to discipline instead of relying on motivation and this question is posed to you because I want you to answer it for yourself.
09:40.531 --> 09:46.100
[SPEAKER_00]: And how did my daily habits either support a sabotage my leadership growth?
09:46.742 --> 09:54.595
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, this all takes into account my results become a mirror of the habits I practice consistently, not occasionally.
09:55.396 --> 10:02.148
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm a pretty locked in person primarily because I had to be very disciplined in a military for 22 years.
10:02.648 --> 10:06.555
[SPEAKER_00]: And as a result, I just care at those particular habits.
10:06.535 --> 10:15.728
[SPEAKER_00]: David Habits into my life, like getting enough rest because when you're doing great things, it takes a lot of energy.
10:16.229 --> 10:22.037
[SPEAKER_00]: So physical conditioning, mentally, conditioning, spiritual development, all of that all adds up.
10:22.918 --> 10:24.641
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I locked into these.
10:25.322 --> 10:32.392
[SPEAKER_00]: So really, I want to get down to, as I mentioned, my results became a mirror of the habits.
10:32.412 --> 10:35.496
[SPEAKER_00]: I practiced consistently and not
10:35.898 --> 10:48.827
[SPEAKER_00]: If I find myself leaning into too many other shiny objects, I ensure that I don't invest in those and that I stay with one program, one program at a time, take action on it and if.
10:49.263 --> 10:57.372
[SPEAKER_00]: If it looks like I need the new shiny object, then I would lock into that, but for right now, I won't need any shiny objects for a long time.
10:58.833 --> 11:13.009
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just keep the daily habits going and remaining positive standing away from people with a lot of drama and just moving forward because you can run into drama almost anywhere.
11:13.529 --> 11:19.137
[SPEAKER_00]: It can happen in your family, it can happen in your community, it can happen in nationally and internationally.
11:19.197 --> 11:29.452
[SPEAKER_00]: So I just want to find myself where I'm staying on course, try to realize the vision that I have in the greater good for the legacy that I want to leave.
11:29.533 --> 11:38.786
[SPEAKER_00]: So again, question three was, and I want you to address this for yourself, how that my daily habits, either support our sabotage, my leadership role.
11:38.806 --> 11:42.051
[SPEAKER_00]: And before I end that one in terms of sabotage,
11:42.368 --> 11:45.122
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no sabotage unless I allow it to happen.
11:45.878 --> 11:47.941
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have not allowed that to happen.
11:48.021 --> 11:50.464
[SPEAKER_00]: I might be in a program I get a little bit behind.
11:50.865 --> 12:06.786
[SPEAKER_00]: So at that point, I stop everything else I'm doing and I go back and start all over until I get caught back up and then I can move forward and that's actually happening right now in a class that training that I've been in for the last six weeks.
12:07.307 --> 12:09.190
[SPEAKER_00]: So that was question three.
12:09.971 --> 12:14.637
[SPEAKER_00]: So what question four is what boundaries did I have
12:14.752 --> 12:16.594
[SPEAKER_00]: to protect my energy and focus.
12:17.155 --> 12:25.805
[SPEAKER_00]: So when it comes to strong self leadership, it's required, it's required, and saying no without you, and yes, with intention.
12:25.885 --> 12:42.885
[SPEAKER_00]: So there are some things that you just turn them down because they're not going to accelerate or enhance what you're doing, whether someone trying to sell you a training, whether they have a collaboration, whether you're writing a book, whatever it may happen to be, are speaking engagement.
12:43.304 --> 12:51.772
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you just have to find yourself not being afraid to say no because you know what the greater good is.
12:52.552 --> 12:58.638
[SPEAKER_00]: And the know is not a purposeful know or bad know.
12:58.738 --> 13:01.961
[SPEAKER_00]: It's just a know I can't do this at this time.
13:01.981 --> 13:06.024
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm working on this and I want to move forward and move out on it.
13:06.605 --> 13:09.047
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's when I'm taking that action step.
13:09.067 --> 13:12.450
[SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of it could very well come down
13:13.173 --> 13:17.783
[SPEAKER_00]: timing maybe a good word to, but they are in terms of boundaries.
13:18.472 --> 13:20.514
[SPEAKER_00]: to protect the energy and focus.
13:21.175 --> 13:26.260
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is, people who want you to turn an event and yet you really don't want to turn it.
13:26.280 --> 13:36.570
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to turn it because if you go into a certain city, you may encounter a few problems and I'll pass to give a hard note on that one and pass as well.
13:37.230 --> 13:43.256
[SPEAKER_00]: So again, question four was, what boundaries did I have to strengthen to protect my energy and focus?
13:43.657 --> 13:46.099
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to preface this towards you.
13:46.079 --> 13:51.083
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, question five, how did my relationship with failure evolve this year?
13:51.223 --> 13:53.165
[SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, this is a great question.
13:53.786 --> 13:58.430
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, failure, of course, it becomes a teacher and not a verdict.
13:58.970 --> 14:15.985
[SPEAKER_00]: And once I choose growth over self-judgment, so what this is through question is really sand not only for me, but to you is when you look at the fact that you have a
14:16.370 --> 14:25.950
[SPEAKER_00]: relationship with failure, it's often a lesson more than a failure and understand that failure is not final.
14:25.990 --> 14:30.439
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why I made a hard, hard pause because I really want you to get this.
14:30.499 --> 14:32.744
[SPEAKER_00]: Some people think of their tip, something one time.
14:32.944 --> 14:36.572
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's say if you have a promotion going on and you put out
14:36.552 --> 14:42.482
[SPEAKER_00]: a marketing piece for one or two times and you don't get a response.
14:43.022 --> 14:45.406
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, what that tells you just need to tweak something.
14:45.987 --> 14:47.670
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to take another approach to it.
14:47.710 --> 14:51.676
[SPEAKER_00]: You need to get to the right audience, your ideal or target audience.
14:52.438 --> 15:00.130
[SPEAKER_00]: And but keep going forward because there are always lessons that we can all learn as long as we don't give up.
15:00.481 --> 15:13.326
[SPEAKER_00]: And in one of two times as an enough, I was in a training last week, and what the individual said was an individual delivered a webinar once a week.
15:13.646 --> 15:21.882
[SPEAKER_00]: So 52 weeks out of the year, she continues to give the same webinar over again, and that's what you're supposed to do.
15:22.317 --> 15:34.521
[SPEAKER_00]: and has she given up after just one quarter or four weeks in the first month, she never would have realized and ultimately she made $2,300.
15:35.497 --> 15:38.142
[SPEAKER_00]: but has she given up that never would have happened.
15:38.182 --> 15:40.786
[SPEAKER_00]: So she would make some tweaks to her presentation.
15:41.327 --> 15:46.617
[SPEAKER_00]: She would strengthen those provider client relationships.
15:47.238 --> 15:48.801
[SPEAKER_00]: And she made herself available.
15:48.921 --> 15:52.888
[SPEAKER_00]: And she really committed to what she was doing and her clients knew it.
15:53.389 --> 15:55.492
[SPEAKER_00]: And as a result, she's achieving success.
15:56.374 --> 15:58.618
[SPEAKER_00]: So she's doing maybe,
15:59.037 --> 16:02.430
[SPEAKER_00]: 30,000 dollars a month in her coaching programs.
16:02.932 --> 16:06.706
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it all comes down to the effort that you put in.
16:06.746 --> 16:10.701
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's very important.
16:11.339 --> 16:32.335
[SPEAKER_00]: And failure, again, as a state comes a teacher is not a verdict and then once you choose growth over self judgment, meaning the example I gave with the lady entrepreneur, she just did not give up 52 weeks, just once a week, once a month, every week.
16:32.467 --> 16:40.975
[SPEAKER_00]: and every 12 months, the 412 months, and she came out on the other side of it, looking great, looking great.
16:40.995 --> 16:46.060
[SPEAKER_00]: So again, that's question five, how did my relationship with failure evolve this year?
16:47.522 --> 16:53.588
[SPEAKER_00]: Question six, where did I learn to trust my inner voice more than external validation?
16:54.449 --> 17:00.735
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's really goes back to what I was saying earlier that we have more power than we would ever know
17:01.492 --> 17:07.262
[SPEAKER_00]: we have a brain that cannot be altered by anyone externally.
17:08.264 --> 17:12.571
[SPEAKER_00]: In other words, no one can come into your brain and my brain and tell us what to do.
17:13.132 --> 17:14.455
[SPEAKER_00]: We control that.
17:14.795 --> 17:23.230
[SPEAKER_00]: Exturdally, a person may not offer a program or they may not offer in the tiny, but when it comes down to
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[SPEAKER_00]: You they can't impact you army based on what they think we should do things should be based on what we do Especially if we're the body and investment towards a training or a program that we're in So again question six is where did I learn to trust my inner voice more than external validation?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't need to be validated by anyone.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the expert
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now, leading myself first meant valuing alignment over approval.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So if I feel that everything is aligned under my vision, under the mission I have and the results I'm trying to work it on to achieve, then I'm in good spot.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because no one else can decide it for you, just like no one else can write your business plan for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: are the fuel sales projection, you have to come up with that primarily because it's your responsibility.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so as a result, when it comes down to external voices, it really means
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[SPEAKER_00]: valuing alignment over approval is very important to remember this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm going to move on to question seven the next to last question and we'll go on and I hope you're taking some notes and I recommend this to your family, friends, colleagues, peers and people that you know because this can really help them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This this is really great episode and these questions can really
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so question seven is this, how did my mindset shift during moments of uncertainty or transition?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And one of the things I want to let you know is that I learned that uncertainty doesn't weaken leadership, it refines it in other words, there are some things that we experienced for example me as an entrepreneur, but it can apply to an employee as well things that you may never have done before and so things that you may have never done before is going to provide a little bit of struggle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But we are adults and we know through experience and training and actual vision.
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[SPEAKER_00]: that we can accomplish anything that we want to and the key is to take the action step and keep moving forward.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I have to have my mind set shifted to positivity to the open mindness, to open thoughts and be willing to listen, but also not only listen but to learn and have to learn apply because again, if you learn everything but you never apply it,
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was waste of time and we don't want that to happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so that's question seven, held it in my mind that shift during moments of uncertainty, our transition.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I mentioned it a little bit earlier where I lost my brother early this year, my younger brother.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And he had chronic illnesses.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that shift it my thinking and thoughts because when you lose a love word, I'm one of 10 children five boys, five girls.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I've lost two brothers already, so they're only two brothers.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've lost two brothers.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have two brothers left included and then myself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then I have four of my sisters.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So out of the five boys and five girls.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So it was uncertainty.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I was having a few health challenges.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I had a health challenge immediately after my brother did.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and I was able to overcome it through persistence.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And many of us encounter that, and it's just simply a part of a life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So questions seven, how did your mindset shift during moments of uncertainty a transition?
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[SPEAKER_00]: That question is for you as well.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then finally, question eight, what version of myself emerged by the end of this year, by the end of 2025?
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[SPEAKER_00]: The elite I became was shaked more by self-awareness than by circumstances in other words.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I continued to learn.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes in life you think you've kind of know yourself and you know a lot of things in the world but you can still learn something.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the position I was in this year that I had been a speaker for several, several years and Arthur as well, but I continued to learn new things because I was in a
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[SPEAKER_00]: A writers group and then a joint another writers group and then I was in a couple of speakers beer rolls get to speak in engagements and podcasting and designing digital courses and I believe that it made me a better person.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because I didn't look at some of the things I didn't know as a weakness I looked at it as going through it as an enhancement and I was not afraid to do it and as a result I took on some really great challenges this year, but I've come out on the other end.
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[SPEAKER_00]: a lot better than I would have not engaged in and embrace some of the training and programs that I was in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So again, question eight, what version of myself emerged by the end of this year?
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[SPEAKER_00]: So this is going to conclude this episode.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to close by saying that this year didn't demand perfection.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It demanded presence.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it definitely did it for me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and daily commitment, and what I know now is this, when you lead yourself well, everything else, your leadership, your influence, your impact, naturally rises, and I want to make a greater impact on the communities I serve, and I have served over the years.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So no matter what season you're in, self-leadership is the foundation that carries you forward as a part of the,
23:15.526 --> 23:19.372
[SPEAKER_00]: of wealth academy podcasts and wealth being more than just money.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So my call to action to you is this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: As you reflect on this year, I challenge you to ask yourself one powerful question.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How can I lead myself better starting today?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not yesterday and not tomorrow, but today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who ready to grow from the inside out.
23:43.876 --> 23:46.061
[SPEAKER_00]: because that's where our power resides.
23:46.803 --> 23:56.687
[SPEAKER_00]: So subscribe to the welfare category podcast, go to Apple Podcast, leave a review, preferably a five-star review, and continue your journey towards clarity.
23:57.005 --> 23:59.229
[SPEAKER_00]: Confidence and purposeful leadership.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Remember, lead yourself first and everything else will follow.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And my time is up and I thank you for yours.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I've really enjoyed this series that I've been on for the last 90 days.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I hope that is making a difference for you and happy holidays to you and Merry Christmas and however,
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[SPEAKER_00]: Happy Hardicoat, however you serve and you celebrate the holiday season and I want to wish everyone a happy new year.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Again, my name is Paul Lons Van, my time is up and I thank you for yours and I'll see you on the next episode of Wealth Academy Podcast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for listening to this episode with Paul and his guest.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I hope you enjoyed this episode and Paul requests that you rate and review this episode and others on Apple Podcasts and wherever you listen to podcasts.
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[SPEAKER_01]: View all wealth Academy podcast episodes at www.wealthacademypodcast.com
